The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
