I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
