Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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