You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
