okay pat passed out under dana's car
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Randomize