Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Randomize