What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
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