My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Help. Why am I so naked?
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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