How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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