I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
