Dual....:-)
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
