I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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