Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I'm passing your future prison.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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