i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
