i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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