I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
