jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
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One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
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Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.