kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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