DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Watching her eat just hurts me
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Two words: blizzard sex
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
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