Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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