Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
