So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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