Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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