Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
