This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
