Your dad touched me again.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
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