i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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