addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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