I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
