its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
