dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
i may or may not be watching the land before time
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
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