I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
