I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
