it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
