i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
you will always have a special place in my vag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize