dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
