And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
