Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
