It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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