Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
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