Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
