whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
