We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize