he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
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