i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
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