I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
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