i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
