Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
