i don't like sucking hair
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
