Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Randomize
