I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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