the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
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