At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
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I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
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There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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