I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
