i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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