i would punch a child for taco bell
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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