mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
