Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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