i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
