Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
