There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?