I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
