i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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