so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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