Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
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