Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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