I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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