Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
