Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
