he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Randomize
