How'd it feel making her break her religion?
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
