Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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