Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Randomize
