idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
