is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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