think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
