Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
