Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
