hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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