Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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